To the one who gave birth to me…
January 1, 1959-September 16,
2009
You suffered an unbearable pain
while putting me into this world. You had to spend 24 hours just to feed me, to
teach me, to look after me. You had to work a lot of hours cleaning every mess
I make. And yet, I treated you as if you were invisible.
I have to admit, I always thought
that I was born here accidentally. No, I always thought that God accidentally
made you as my mother. I was even jealous of the others, having a perfect
mother to look after them. Not realizing that God gave me the perfect mother
that loved me unconditionally.
During Mother’s day, the children
buy roses for their mother’s. All I did was to ask you money for me buy an ice
cream. Instead of celebrating your birthday, I keep forgetting that it was your
birthday and at the same time I was enjoying New Year’s Eve instead.
And on that day, yes, it’s still
fresh in my mind; it was the day before God took you away. I never listened to
your words of wisdom which was supposed to guide me when I grow up. Instead of
lending my ears to you, I sent you words. They were like bullets of a rifle
gun, stuck inside your flesh. Still, you managed to survive the attack while I
walked out and slammed the door.
It was noon, when I opened the
door and no one was there. I still remember the words I uttered to myself; Geez mom, why can’t you at least clean the
house. Not knowing that you were
going to give out your last breath after a couple of hours.
When I saw you lying in that bed,
with all the machines keeping you alive, I myself died a little inside. I had
to wake up with my face looking like a mess and had to go to school to escape
the guilt.
On that night, I saw your perfect
smile. Goodness mother, you never fail
to smile during the toughest times. Your smile was perfect, and it was the last
thing I cherished before they closed the coffin and buried you. Even though I
was not there during your last breath, at least Dad was there to see you smile
when death finally became part of you.
But my dear mother, because of
your death, I received the greatest person who volunteered to guide me, to look
after me, and most of all to love me perfectly. Yes, mother, the one that
wanted you with him. The one who knew me before I was in your womb. Oh mother,
you never fail to look after me.
With your essence inside me, I
promise you this; I will make you proud. No matter what, I will never forget
the one who brought me into this world.
